The Sword

Let me tell you about my sword.

It's been said that I move with the grace of a cat. I've even been called "Shatner-esque." That's why I carry a katana. Yeah. That's right. I'm the Kirk of the bountyhunter world without the stuttering dramatic speech. I want to live like common people. I want to do whatever common people do. That's how bad ass I am.

Yeah.

This is my sword.

So let me tell you about my sword. It's long, it's sharp, and I'm good with it. I can do tricks with my sword. I can enforce justice with my sword. I can throw it and it won't even stick in the ground. You have to thrust with it to get it to stick. That's just how swords work.

You can slice with it too!

Needless to say, swords are good at slicing. I made a sandwich with mine just this morning! Also, because it's a blade, I use it for shaving. That's how I keep such a clean cut look.

Real men shave without shaving cream.

It's also great for making some awesomely bad ass pictures. Examples of this badassery are provided below.