Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Latest Dastardly Plan!

Meet Pyrgopolinices, Chicken of DOOM!

Chickens! That is how I shall take over the world! Yes! Everyone loves chicken! Even vegans love chicken! (they're people from Venus, if you aren't aware.) This makes chickens the perfect vector for a condition-release virus or bacterium, something of the flesh-eating variety or perhaps of the zombie-creating variety. Yes!

Victory is sweet, and chicken-flavored.

Yes! Yes! It is chickens like Pyrgopolinices that will bring the world to its knees! Specially trained chickens that, injected with my virus or bacterium or nano-technological equivalent of choice will attack on sight, savaging and maiming whole crowds of people before disappearing into the night with only a haunting cluck and echoing crow. Yes! Yes!

Egods! Look how fearsome he is! Calm yourself, mighty Pyrgo!

Yes, the day of the vicious chicken swarm will be a day long remembered, a day associated with infamy, villainy and destruction as my custom chicken-plague sweeps across the world, transmitted by handshake or perhaps by not using toilet seat covers. A sea of trained, infected attack chickens will DESTROY THE WORLD! HAHA! There will be no stopping them, and the whole of humanity will come to know the name BLOODLUKOV and fear his killer chickens!

Look into his eyes and see the hate there! The hate! So fearsome, this chicken overlord!

Lock your doors, board up your windows, live in fear-- it won't save you in the end! Only the careful scratching of chicken claws and the pecking of a bloody beak will sound to warn you of their approach, and when they come, there will be no stopping my death chickens! They will break down every barrier, smash all that stands before them, and devour your family in the night!

Go Pyrgo! Be free! Wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting world!

Ah, but what if my army of trained, infected killer chickens equipped with laser beams are not enough to overthrow the world? What if the powers of world government get wind of my plan before it can reach its full fruition? Maybe another animal! Maybe a creature the world would not expect to find itself at the mercy of! Haha! There will be no stopping Doctor Pedro Voynich Bloodlukov! None! Not one! Haha!

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